A dumb story about Darren Hayes (and a good story about my cousin Jarrod)

Just over 10 years ago, I took my cousin (10yo at the time?) too see Savage Garden. If you want to make fun of me for that: fuck off! He was young and there was some terrible stuff happening, so hell yeah... we went together to see Savage Garden in all their silver-jumpsuit glory.

Jarrod, the cousin in question, has always been one of those Been Lee-type song writers (except not a tosser like Mr Lee and Jarrod has thankfully never, ever, dated Claire Danes) writing heartfelt songs from a young age. Well, except for 2007 when he wrote one called "Cunt Rash"... which was apparently about getting sand in your lady bits. Owch.

Also, a secret about the young Jarrod: he was inspired by both Savage Garden and Ween at the same time. Which is weird, because I'm 100% certain that no-one's ever combined those two influences together. And thus, his first band Dicka Monica was created in the mid/late 90s.

I'm getting a little distracted here. Back to the Savage Garden show...
After the show there were about 6 pre-pubescent girls hanging around waiting for the band. It was cute. Most of their mums were with them and they had notepads and pens, ready for their still-in-the-closet hero, Darren Hayes.

In the hopes of meeting one of his influences, Jarrod wanted to stay too - so we did!

We didn't have to wait too long before the band came out of the GEELONG ARENA (this is a basketball court/venue in a town of 160,000 people - NOT EXACTLY THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL, people!) and Mr Hayes (and his bandmate, Yawny McYawner) ran out of the door and straight into a mini-van - "no autographs, no autographs" kind of stuff. I think they even had some bodyguards ushering them away from the terrible gaggle of girls and their notebooks.

I was pretty appalled at this behaviour because there were less than 10 kids waiting and he was a rude fucker! The kids who were waiting were just that: kids. They weren't exactly horny teenage girls or annoying adolescents... they were all about 10 years old! The girls were all extremely upset and so was Jarrod. At one point he started fake crying (which made all the girls fawn over him) in an attempt to get Darren Hayes' attention. To no avail.

I remember someone saying: "Oh! The little boy is crying!"

Eventually everyone disappeared.
Jarrod and I went back to my car.
Darren Hayes sat in his van, ignoring the world.

We looked back to the van and everyone had gone. Jarrod said that he might try one more time. I told him to go for it so he ran over to the van and obviously begged enough for both band members to sign his t-shirt. He was so proud of himself when they actually did.

In conclusion.... I hope Darren Hayes either 1) googles himself and then feels bad that he was a fucker to some kids from Geelong 10 years ago and 2) I hope Jarrod makes it big and has Darren Hayes approach him for a chat and then Jarrod can say "Actually... I don't have any time for you... so very sorry *cough*".

Jarrod's band on myspace: here.
I'm proud of that kid.